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May 28, by clander. To be offended is usually a rather unpleasant experience, one that can expose a person to intolerance, cultural misunderstandings, and even evoke the scars of the past. This is such an unpleasant experience that many people develop a thick skin and try to only be offended in the most egregious and awful situations. In many circumstances, they can allow smaller offenses to slip by as fighting them is a waste of time and energy.

But white people, blessed with both time and energy, are not these kind of people. In fact there are few things white people love more than being offended. Naturally, white people do not get offended by statements directed at white people. As a rule, white people strongly prefer to get offended on behalf of other people. It is also valuable to know that white people spend a significant portion of their time preparing for the moment when they will be offended.

They read magazines, books, and watch documentaries all in hopes that one day they will encounter a person who will say something offensive. When this happens, they can leap into action with quotes, statistics, and historical examples. Both cases offering ample opportunities for lectures, complaints, graduate classes, lengthy discussions and workshops. Another thing worth noting is that the threshold for being offended is a very important tool for judging and ranking white people.

At this point, it is acceptable to ask them to help you paint your house. Posted in Activities , People 2, Comments. A subset of this post could be white people who get offended by seemingly banal matters, like waiting too long for a bus and threatening to write a strongly worded letter to the powers-that-be. People in general seem to be too sensitive these days and get offended by anything …. Unfortunately for him, he learned that terminology from his wife — a non-hyphenated black American woman.

Well this is funny how can anyone throw all whites into one basket when they are very different. Many have rightly noted that many blacks are neither African nor American, and may whites can be considered Africans and Americans. I had a friend in college who loved to be offended. His threshold was weird though.

I knew this one was coming and I wanted to use it on my blog first. Yes, crackers love getting offended for other people. For the most part, they love being insulted. If a minority person states that someone is so white it hurts, you can also ask that person to paint your house at that point.

The exception Arjwetio pointed is true though, if there is a chance to threaten to humiliate or sue a person in the service industry, then a white person will be glad to be offended. As long as they are not killing each other, it is unlike when some races, you step on their shows, that is a capital offense. People have been stabbed for stepping on toes. I think you are referring to Americans who are a little bit more assertive than their European brothers.

I am not white, but I have a few friends who are, and on behalf of them I am offended. Certainly the last white womyn I go with. Everyone in Portland loves to get offended! I have to say that, as a non-white, I have from time to time played around with the sensitive emotions of white people. Their strings of apologies are like the streams of cool water upon my skin. That kind of irony is pure genious, friend. This blog is hilarious! And to those of you who play with us, in all our whitiness and crackerdom?

Carry on; most of us need to have a good laugh at ourselves and get over whatever seems to separate us. Still this blog is funny! Damn it, you made me wet my pants again laughing. Nah, he can come over to my place for a glass of wine and some conversation with my husband and me. Did this happen a few months ago, in Manhattan, on Broadway and 27th Street? Because that sounds like what I said while waiting and waiting and waiting for a bus home one evening.

I had no idea that someone was taking dictation! I offend people everyday. Sometime intentionally and sometime not. I have the speak first thing second syndrome.

How could someone do this here?!?! Wait, I just offended myself. Berto — now, that was funny and clever! We have equally ready-to-be-offended by the droves here in Austin, too! Seriously, the academics need to chill on that Foucault and Derrida. Just another example of White People maintaining the power structure.

The text is so dense that only White People can read it. The real power in those works is their ability to make me fall asleep. No offense or anything. Too bad, I just beat you to it! Now I know how Britney Spears feels. Affirmative action is wrong because colored people are equal to us already, right Max?

Give me a break. Who wants to be an offensive person? If it is brought to your attention that your thinking is offensive, you can be grateful to now know! Speaking of sensitivity would it be more politically correct to refer to white people as European Americans? Whites enjoy hurting other white through affirmative action, taxation that supports the insane welfare programs and gun control, to leave white defenseless against black criminals.

I am enjoying watching these PC whites get crushed by the real estate collapse. Does this mean Al Sharpton is white? Whites enjoy hurting other whites through affirmative action, taxation that supports the insane welfare programs and gun control, to leave white defenseless against black criminals. Your defense of government enforced discrimination shows how much you hate whites, even if you are white yourself. I sent this post to a white girl I went out with for a time.

I really liked her although I had my doubts about whether or not our senses of humor were compatible. This is her response. It is not really funny to me. In fact, I stopped reading after the first sentence. Parents like the ones mentioned above are setting their children up for a drug addiction because the real world will be nothing like the world for which their parents have prepared them. In fact, black people call themselves black as a sense of pride so I encourage you to use it without fear.

This could also come in the form of excuses not to tip restaurant waitstaff; ex. Some words hurt more than others. It takes a lot to offend me, except for when people stare at my adult son who is severely developmentally delayed, apraxic and epileptic. There are those very few who are actually trying to determine what may be wrong with him and I understand that.

Those are the people who ask me or him if they can help, or they will strike up a conversation with me and segue into questions about his disabilities. They get the Spark Notes. My ex believed that the way you became a good person was by suffering. I suggested to him that in that paradigm, the people of Bangladesh must be saints. What with the starving and such. My point is the way people like to make up words and then get pissed off if you misspell it.

I have the papers ready to file with the courts. I chose Allison…and rightly so. For a good illustration, check out the election results map: Not this liberal, I snatch up those foreclosed homes for pennies on the dollar and sell them for just a little more. Is it wrong to make a living off the desperate?

Maybe, but, who cares? Take offense to that. For a second, visions of voting for a democrat danced around in my head. Who else should be entitled to the money? The neighbors, the state? Although, watching one get all ticked off about nothing can be very entertaining. So, this guy, who, appears to expect people to do as he says, starts cussing and getting all red faced and looking like he was about to start frothing at the mouth I was poised with my trusty cell phone video cam to capture it if he did.

I started to chuckle, and he looked back at me like some demon psycho and I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and he turned back to the checker.

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I thanked him for the tip and drove off into the blackness, headlights on high beam. It was less than two miles before I spotted those dream creatures, now clothed, stepping from behind a huge earthmover. There was a large man and three smaller figures. Without thinking, I pulled to the side of the road and waited for my passengers to approach.

Something told me to wait here and the messenger would arrive. So here you are and just in the nick of time. The sheriff is not far behind us and the little ladies need to be gone from here as fast as that machine can carry them. Without thinking I told them to get into the car and be quick about it. The three females got into the backseat, but their companion refused to move from where he stood. I leaned over to open the car door, but he shook his head. Get across the state line and you have a decent chance to get them where they're supposed to be going, wherever that is.

Don't you worry about ole Jethro. I know this area a whole lot better than the sheriff does. With those words and a salute to the trio in the backseat, he disappeared into the blackness and we sped away, still being careful to watch for any obstacles for at least the next few miles. It was close to three hours with the morning sun coming up before we cleared the sovereign state of Arkansas and crossed into Louisiana.

I'd changed highways about forty miles from the Louisiana border to throw off any Arkansas state troopers who might be looking for a man with a carload of females in the backseat. Some might think me paranoid, but I'd seen and experienced way too much in recent times not to worry about everything around me.

At my insistence two of the ladies hopped in the trunk long enough for me and the other twin to make an appearance at the first island we found, a place called Bonita. There we took on some gasoline and what passed for food and drink. I would soon learn a great deal about Cajun cuisine and even enjoy some of it from time to time. Thanks to the detailed map I had the good sense to buy at some outrageous price from the same fellow who sold me the food, I was able to orient myself.

However all I had to go on was the direction, south. I decided to have faith in my masters and wait patiently until they deigned to give me more to go on.

We were hardly in the car for a minute when the teenage blonde lovely, her name proved to be Terri Tolliver, began inhaling this strange smelling provender without even taking a deep breath.

I for one had a hard time steering since my brain was now being seduced by these strange smells. This was quickly followed by a very brief serenade from the calliope, reminding me that her name, like so many of my past female encounters, had the same first letter in both names.

In just the blink of an eye I suddenly felt very low on the food chain. I was on the verge of despair, reminding me of some of the old Testament types who wrestled with the concept of Jehovah.

Then this strange revelation was gone back into whatever dimension it had originally occupied, and I was kept busy keeping my eyes on the road for a good place to exchange Teri for the brunette. My nervous system took another jolt when the diminutive brunette with the big tits announced her name to be Marie Mason. She babbled on about her husband Marty and how they had been traded into white slavery by Jethro, the man that had been their escort until I had taken over the job.

Their new owner was a schoolteacher by the name of Mimi Marlow, who had all sorts of connections in and beyond the limits of the county. To make it even more complicated and interesting, the Tolliver twins were the other part of the swap. However that portion of the deal had never been truly consummated according to Jethro. Thus he had no compunctions about assisting in freeing them from the teacher. Unfortunately the sheriff's deputies managed to wrest her husband away from Jethro, and he was probably having terrible things done to his slim, almost girlish form by the minions of Vlad, the county sheriff.

The only thing that saved my sanity at this point was another roadside store located in the thriving metropolis of Mer Rouge. We loaded up on additional quantities of the local product disguised as food.

I also took this opportunity to open up the wonderful map of the state for which I had paid an exorbitant amount of money. The map was contained in a plastic envelope that broke apart as I fumbled to get it open. My first inclination, when I saw the bold, red magic marker connecting where I was to a little town called Belle Rose, was to think that I'd been sold a used map.

Then I remembered how the envelope had broken apart. My chest grew tight and I felt flushed. Marie started to panic, thinking I was having a heart attack.

I looked at her, shook my head and showed her my open palms to signal that I was in one piece, sort of. It took a few more minutes for me to recover fully. Fortunately everyone around us was either napping or dozing. I started the car and we took off, driving slowly to avoid drawing any attention.

At last there was a side road that allowed me to park and let the trio get out so they could stretch their legs. I took this opportunity to study what my masters had given me as a guide; it was pretty straightforward. This time I also noticed a small card for a hotel the just so happened to be located at my destination.

My guide certainly covered all the bases except the damage that was being done to my sanity. I heaved a sigh and calculated that with any kind of luck we could make Belle Rose before sunset.

Could this be my ultimate destination, not if I had anything to do with it? There was this skinny Chinese babe with an enema fixation that had driven me to finally escape the cold and dark of Minneapolis, and I was bound and determined to play through until I saw her again.

In order to retain my composure after too many shocks over too short a time, I rotated the threesome so that one always sat by me while the other two occupied the back seat.

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