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We texted constantly for about five days but then he suddenly stopped. After that it seemed like I always had to initiate the conversations to get a response. It really seemed like he cared so why would he go from talking to be all the time to not talking at all? This type of question has been sent to me hundreds of times and I want to write about this to help you and everyone with this type of situation. And believe it or not, I had a guy send me virtually this same question in hopes that I would discuss it at a speaking engagement.
Over the course of the last decade and a half, texting has increasingly become a constant part of waking life. He might be focused on something and have his phone off. Or, yes of course, he might not be all that into you in the first place and be fading away. Currently, the western world views dating as a process of impressing the other person. Which is foolish on two fronts: The problem with this is that it fixates on you and the guy putting on a sort of performance for each other… and an unsustainable one at that, in most case.
Is he losing interest in me? The best way to think of text messages is this: After all, he explicitly said he would! When it comes to relationships, treat your actual physical time together as your quality time. So as a general rule in relationships, try to keep texting to a minimum and, when you do need to text, your texts will have much more impact. In this day and age, what we really would do well to embrace in our lives is more space ….
There used to be moments of space mixed into our days, where we would just have to wait for things. The most sane thing you can do for yourself is to start bringing space into your life as much as possible. It is within moments of space where we are most able to connect with ourselves and the life within us. Without space, it almost feels as though this constant activity is like a vortex that pulls us into it. We can get caught up in it, thinking about and reacting to the happenings streaming through our smartphone into our head.
With the social aspect of social media, we might even find it very heard not to feed into the constant drama of it. Contrasted against that, we have a whole inner world that, for most people, remains largely unexplored. When people talk about having a relationship with yourself, what does that really mean in the deepest sense?
This is where you recharge your metaphorical batteries… and this is where your partner does as well. Make space a priority. Make your mood a priority. We all need space, although men relate to space and silence in a way that is different in character to the way women seem to relate to having space….
Whether or not the guys you know have men in their lives they can hang out with without being unnecessarily chatty, the vast majority of men could relate to how this is possible. Most women I know would find the thought of sitting in silence with another woman for hours to be incomprehensible and… not much fun.
I would say the same thing for women spending time with other women. There is something to be said for enjoying and accentuating the polarities of your gender in who you spend time with. I say all this because I want to drive home the point that there is much more to having a healthy relationship than being in constant contact with your partner.
Do these thoughts every lead to any positive outcome? Living this way comes with a horrible price… the drain increases and becomes more pronounced over time… it affects our mood… and our negative mood radiates outward and affects our relationship negatively. The punchline here is this: In that space, it will be very easy to see what is needed for the situation. Texting constantly is a pain in the ass. So I try to keep things short but polite.
Truth is, this guy probably was really into you when he was texting constantly and probably still is. Sometimes we can get caught up into thinking that the other person is being rude when our text message goes unanswered. We are interrupting them and expecting that they should answer a text message just because we sent them something is selfish.
But if the other person might feel that they are being barraged with messages and it could be overwhelming or even annoying sometimes. And I probably more than any other guy on the planet know how much that can drive a woman crazy.
Be un-reactive to it and assume they really, really like you. This advice is for you. When you stop reacting to things automatically, you gain awareness of the situation. When you are un-reactive, you get to choose the best move. So be un-reactive to this so that you have clarity of the whole situation. The other side of how to handle this in a useful way is to assume that the other person really, really likes you.
The fact is none of us are mind readers… we will never know exactly what the other person is thinking. I can also tell you that people who assume that other people love them usually end up surrounded by people who love them. Same goes for relationships and attraction. Sure, it may seem a little delusional to just choose an assumption to make about how the other person feels about you, but the truth is that we do it all the time anyway!
You might as well choose an assumption that serves you instead of one that guarantees failure. And finally, one of the best things you can do is make sure that you have a full, enjoyable, fun life. Make your life your focus and it will make his erratic texting behaviors much more tolerable. That is a recipe for disaster if you do…. But there is more you need to know.
There is one defining moment in every relationship that determines if it will last, or if you will be left heartbroken…. At some point, he will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to?
The answer will determine whether the relationship deepens or ends. Do you know how a man decides a woman is girlfriend or wife material? Do you know what inspires a man to want to commit? If not, you need to read this article next: The 1 Things Men Desire in a Woman. Do you know what to do when this happens? If not, you run the risk of making the most common relationship-ruining mistakes.
Read this now and learn exactly how to handle it: Hey so ive been talking to this guy for 2months or so all the sudden he met someone else but i cant get over him do to how he was with me different than the rest. We recently got in a fight and stopped talking I want to txt him but his still mad should i hold off and give him space and time to cool off? Hi, I just met a guy and I heard from my colleague saying that he thinks im beautiful. I texted him after a few days from the gathering, he even asked if I would go to watch his competition.
I asked him If everithink is ok and told him he is everything I ever needed I love him a lot and I want to make him happy. Thank you very much! It was greatly appreciated. Reading this cleared my head, and I will definitely be keeping this article handy to go back to anytime I need it. I used to be friends with this boy when I was younger and more recently we have started talking daily on text for about a month now and we have met up 4times.
The last time we met up went really well and that evening we talked and said goodnight as usual. So then I get a response from his dad saying he got grounded, so he is not ignoring me?! I got told his phone got taken away, but later on I see him commenting on a post! Is he actually making dumb excuses to not talk to me? Thanks for all your content, Eric. As cliche as it is for me to get worried every now and then and overanalyze things and therefore look for articles online to help calm my nerves, it really does help.
Rationally I know that nothing is wrong, but I suppose we all have our inner demons that make us believe differently. Good news, though, is that this has been gradually happening less and less often. Self-esteem is just something you have to gradually work on. That being put aside! Hi, I met this really hot, nice guy 3 days ago at a kids play land.
His son and mine were playing together. I saw him checking me out and we were clearly attracted to each other. He asked for my number and texted me 10min later with a pic of our kids. We ended up texting all night then. I ended he conversation that night as it got so late and he then texted me again, initiating the next day around noon. We sent a few texts back and forth and I sent him the last one yesterday around 4pm, not really asking anything but agreeing to a situation that is similar to his childcare.
He was very consistent in his texting and it flowed well, no playing games. What should I do?
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