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Relatively interesting grandmothers looking for sex guy tired of routine

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Out of sheer desperation, I came up with a new way to initiate sex around then that almost always works. I just start touching myself. I work over 50 hours a week, take anti-depressants and birth control, and I still come home with my loins on fire.

I pray every night for a lower libido because I really want things to work out. The funny thing is, from my experience at least, reminding a guy that you need their dick is the best way to get them to jump your bones swiftly. Just like I reject darts, and most bar games.

Whenever I roll over in defeat, something seems to click inside him and he manages to get hard. Either the sight of me sleeping turns him on, or fear of disappointing me gets him going. After a ton of discussions that led nowhere, my husband and I finally tried making a sex schedule.

It sounds weird not to mention, totally unsexy but it works for us because it gives him time to prepare and it gives me something to look forward to. Please come back and try again a few minutes from now. A sensual massage is a good trick. So is nice lingerie. I adore the following, in no particular order: Click here to learn more! A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from.

Thats weird and sad. Just follow her on Facebook! Please read it here http: Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. A website by Thought. Do you screenshot the sweet texts that people send you? What would make you leave someone you love? Is there anything about me as a person or my behaviors that you question?

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Attitudes about sexuality and aging - Harvard Health

I have a neuromuscular disability and need the help of a personal care assistant for almost everything I do. I have an exhausting, time-consuming routine: Despite this, I hold down a career and have friends.

So in many ways I felt a loner. But the most real part of me is intimate, passionate and generous, and I need to be in a relationship for that to come out. I always thought it was a given that one day I would marry and have children. My friends have partners, so I play a smaller part in their lives, while they play a bigger part in mine. I keep fit and do courses at the weekend.

My sisters are twins, three years older than me, so when I was growing up they were always so much closer than I was. I was an only child, raised by my mother and two aunts, all of whom had strong Methodist leanings. At 19, I fell in love with a girl, but our relationship was platonic. The next 27 years of my life were taken up with family concerns as elderly relatives got ill, degenerated and died. I did feel a sense of frustration. I felt like a taxi stuck in traffic, the meter clicking away on my life.

Living alone in my mids, I did have a fleeting romance with a lovely but very troubled woman in her 30s. Alas, there was no chance of it lasting. It does compound the feeling of loneliness. Great sex is often the outgrowth of a deep emotional connection — something that's not guaranteed by having a perfect body.

A negative self-image isn't always rooted in your appearance. Career setbacks or other disappointments can lead to feelings of failure and depression, both of which sap desire. For men, episodes of impotence can undercut confidence in their manhood. No matter what its cause, a poor self-image can take a toll on your sex life. When performance anxiety develops as a result, it can spark a downward spiral of repeated sexual failure and diminishing self-esteem.

Correcting this problem demands serious attention to its origin. Because feelings of low self-worth are a symptom of depression, you should talk to a doctor if the problem persists. For example, women and men — particularly those who came of age before the so-called sexual revolution in the '60s — may cling to the notion that it is improper for "nice girls" to enjoy sex.

This belief can be damaging for both partners. A woman who has merely acquiesced to sex as a duty to her husband or as a necessary step in childbearing may feel uncomfortable seeking sexual pleasure.

Her partner may interpret this lack of enthusiasm as a reflection of her feelings about him. Inexperience and embarrassment over discussing sexual matters may hamper people from fully expressing themselves sexually.

For example, intercourse alone does not give many women the kind of stimulation they need for fulfilling sex, and uneasiness about discussing the problem prevents some couples from developing techniques that could offer the woman greater pleasure.

Compounding the problem, childhood taboos against masturbation may prevent a woman from ever discovering the means to her sexual pleasure, so she's unable to direct her partner in this regard. It may be more comfortable for a woman to forgo her own pleasure than to confront these matters. She may ultimately resort to faking orgasms rather than risk asking for a different approach to lovemaking.

When this pattern exists for years, revealing the truth would mean admitting to a longstanding deception, which could shake the trust in the relationship and injure her partner's self-esteem. Alternately, a man may feel his self-worth depends on his ability to please his partner.

His focus during sex, therefore, is on performing rather than succumbing to pleasure. If his partner doesn't immediately respond to his efforts, feelings of inadequacy can pervade the relationship, eroding the couple's bond.

This dynamic can ultimately lead to performance anxiety and related sexual problems. During the early years of a couple's relationship, such missed connections are often masked by priorities outside the bedroom, such as building a marriage, raising a family, and launching a career.

However, midlife may prove to be a turning point. Upon reaching menopause, the long-unsatisfied woman might greet the physical changes in her body as a sign that her sexual duties are fulfilled. If her husband is still interested in sex, a conflict is likely to erupt. A much more hopeful scenario is also possible. Midlife and later may be a time when a woman's sexuality blossoms. Menopause means that women no longer have to worry about pregnancy.

Often, children are grown and family responsibilities have eased, allowing a couple to engage in more relaxed and spontaneous lovemaking. In addition, the changes a man is experiencing during these years, such as slower erections and longer time before ejaculation, lend themselves to the kind of pleasurable play that a woman may have been missing out on before.

For a couple wishing to embark on the more positive course, the key is to begin to unravel negative patterns. To do this, you must open up a dialogue.

It's also important to resist succumbing to unproductive beliefs about aging and sex. Stress and fatigue are major libido sappers. During midlife, stress can hit from any direction and take any form. Challenging teenagers, financial worries, aging parents, and career woes are common. Concern over your own health or that of a loved one, or general anxiety about aging can also weigh heavily. With so many demands on your time and attention, you and your partner may neglect to nurture your relationship.

This inattention can cause your sexual connection to fray as well. Sheer lack of time is often a major factor. The physical changes in sexual response that occur in both men and women as they age mean that it will take you and your partner more time to become aroused and reach orgasm than it did in your younger years.

You may find it hard to squeeze an extended lovemaking session into an already packed day. If a couple typically waits until bedtime to have sex, exhaustion also can become an obstacle. Stress has a particularly deleterious effect on libido, especially in women. Whereas men can sometimes use sex to relax, women more often need to be relaxed in order to enjoy sex.

This mismatch can create conflict for a couple. Sexual issues brought on solely by stress and fatigue often can be remedied simply by taking a vacation. If you and your partner are able to resume pleasurable lovemaking in a pressure-free environment, you'll be reassured that the underpinnings of your sexual relationship are sound. Midlife and after is also a time when profound lifestyle changes take place.

Events such as retirement and children leaving home can upset decades-long patterns in a couple's life. For example, many couples go through a period of adjustment when they retire. If a woman is used to having the house to herself, her feeling of control over her domain can be threatened by her husband's constant presence.

If both partners worked outside the home, they must each adapt to having more time together at home. One bonus is that retirement may allow you and your partner the opportunity to engage in leisurely lovemaking — something you may have lacked for many years.

One danger, however, is that couples who begin spending a lot of time together may stop making an effort to include romance in their relationship. Chronic illness also affects many couples' sexual relationships during this stage of life. People who are ill may find that a condition or its treatment causes sexual difficulties, while healthy partners may worry that sexual activity will make their loved one's condition worse.

The fatigue and stress of the caretaker role may also dampen desire. During this time, many people also experience the loss of someone close — parents, friends, or siblings. Grieving may make it difficult to enjoy anything pleasurable, including sex. The physical transformations your body undergoes as you age can have a major influence on your sexuality.

By understanding the crucial physical and emotional elements that underlie satisfying sex, you can better navigate problems if they arise. The Sexuality in Midlife and Beyond Report is an essential tool that can help you remain active, vibrant and vital as you age.

Attitudes about sexuality and aging Updated: March 17, Published: Statistics on sexuality and sexual satisfaction In , Modern Maturity magazine and the AARP foundation polled 1, adults age 45 and older about the role sex played in their lives.

The importance of sex Over all, the majority of men Factors affecting sexual satisfaction Not surprisingly, one of the major factors associated with respondents' satisfaction was the availability of a partner. A good relationship with a spouse or partner is important to quality of life. A satisfying sexual relationship is important to my overall quality of life.

Sexual activity is a pleasurable but not a necessary part of a good relationship. Had sexual intercourse at least once a week during the last six months. Engaged in kissing or hugging at least once a week during the last six months.

She was breathing in that slow, irregular way that signals that the end is near. It was turning from red to purple to blue. Perhaps I would rage at the gods, regret all that had gone unsaid, pull an article of clothing from her closet and hold it close, taking her in. But none of that happened. I picked her hand up a few more times over the next two hours while we waited for another hospice worker to come over and fill out the final paperwork and then for the men from the funeral home to take her away.

I did this less for the sake of holding it than to make sure she still had no pulse. She must have found us appalling. A week or so before my mother died, my brother and I started packing up the apartment right in front of her. I know this sounds grotesque, but we were haemorrhaging money and had to do whatever we could to stem the flow. It was late December and her lease was up on the first of the new year. Vera was a professional end-of-life home healthcare aide, referred to us by the hospice.

She was originally from Trinidad and spent a lot of time listening to Christmas music on headphones. My mother died the day after Christmas.

She was 67 years old. But in January , after months of complaining of pain in her side and being told by her doctor it was probably a pulled muscle, she was found to have gallbladder cancer. This sounds like the kind of thing you could easily cure by just removing the gallbladder, which everyone knows is a nonessential organ, but it turns out the disease is not only extremely rare but barely treatable.

My grandmother was tyrannical in her childishness. She was stubborn, self-centred, and often seemingly wilfully illogical. Not in the sense of failing to provide food and shelter but in the sense that is knowable only to the neglectee, and even then maybe never entirely. In the outside world, she won piano competitions and twirled the baton, but inside the house she offered nothing more than an occasional mumble.

I think the idea was that her mother was so unwilling to listen to her that she was no longer going to waste her breath. But as I grew older and my grandfather died and my mother lost what little buffer had once stood between her and her adversary, the more I came to see the pathology that swarmed around my grandmother like bees. She spoke in a permanent whine, sometimes practically in baby talk. It would require travel to southern Illinois, a ragged, rural place out of which my grandmother had seldom set foot and from which my mother, despite having left at 23, never felt she could totally escape.

My father, though sort of in the picture in that he also lived in Manhattan and was still married to my mother, was not in any picture that would have required him to make this trip.

The rest of us, though, would go the following month, when my brother could request a few days off and after my mother was recovered from her surgery and had gotten in a round or two of chemotherapy. It would turn out to be the last trip she ever took. In truth, the actor had dropped out before she began working there, but my brother and I nodded and went along with it. There was a period of at least 15 years, from approximately age 18 to age 34, when every interaction I had with my mother entailed some attempt on my part to cut through what I perceived as a set of intolerable affectations.

Not that she actually was or did any of these things. It was more that she always felt to me like an outline of a person, a pen-and-ink drawing with nothing coloured in. Sometimes I got the feeling she sort of knew this about herself but was powerless to do anything about it. She wanted to be a connoisseur of things, an expert. She wanted to believe she was an intellectual. Once, among a group of semi-strangers, I heard her refer to herself as an academic.

Later, when I asked her about it, she told me she appreciated college towns and academic-type people and therefore was one herself. What was my problem? For starters, her need for praise was insatiable. And around the time of her emancipation from her old self, when she moved out of the house and seemingly took up permanent residence in the high school theatre, that need redoubled.

We never gave her any credit, she said. That she was completely right about all of this only added to my rage. She just wanted it too badly. If you asked me what my central grievance with my mother was, I would tell you that I had a hard time not seeing her as a fraud. I would tell you that her transformation, at around the age of 45, from a slightly frumpy, slightly depressed, slightly angry but mostly unassuming wife, mother, and occasional private piano teacher into a flashy, imperious, hyperbolic theatre person had ignited in her a phoniness that I was allergic to on every level.

I might throw in the fact that she was deeply concerned with what kind of person I was in high school because it would surely be a direct reflection of the kind of person she was. Meanwhile she copied my clothes, my hair, my taste in jewellery, so much so that I started borrowing her things they were exaggerated versions of my things: In the years to come, my mother would become the go-to teacher for the sexually confused and the suddenly pregnant. She found it embarrassing that I had a boyfriend.

She liked when I waited for her at the end of the day so she could drive me home, even perhaps especially if it meant my having to pace around the theatre while she finished up her business. Kids whose parents are teachers in their schools are members of a special club. They have to build invisible fences. They have to learn to appear to take it in earnest when their classmates tell them how cool the parent is.

I never considered myself a member of that club. In those years, my mother seemed to have just slipped through the door as I walked through it on the first day of school. It was never entirely clear what she was doing. She had no theatre experience; her background was in music. It made sense that she was volunteering as a piano accompanist, playing in the pit orchestra, coaching singers.

It made less sense that she always seemed to be there even after the musicians went home. Hanging out with the set builders, feigning disapproval when kids banged out pop songs instead of the assigned show tunes on the piano, giving more and more orders until everyone just assumed she was in charge. Substance was one of her all-time most used words; in both of her incarnations she used it liberally, though her powers of appraisal were questionable.

She believed Barbara Walters showed substance on The View when she hushed the other ladies up and spoke her mind. There was no more clothes sharing after I left for college.

Search form. Search Some become grandparents when they are relatively young and in the Grandparents are usually not so caught up with the daily routines reasons, but also because of the ages and sex of the grandchildren. The negative aspects of caring for grandchildren included feeling tired. The number of certified sex-addiction therapists has more than doubled since This much is certain: More and more people are seeking treatment. and existential or chaotically fun in a Warren Beatty-in-the-'70s kind of way. But when I ask him if he's tired, he says no, just the opposite: "I sleep too well. It would be nice to have someone to go out with, but men are not terribly . I haven't been with anyone sexually for a while, I've lost my appetite. I have an exhausting, time-consuming routine: getting up, dressed, . I've bored CIF world with my story before so I won't write paragraph after paragraph.