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I recently wrote an article here on Huffington Post Women entitled 10 Types of Men Who Won't Marry You and in response to it, I have gotten over 1, comments as well as endless emails asking me why I hadn't written a similar list of types of women. As a result, I have created such a list here, using the opinions that I have heard from tens of thousands of men during my years working as a matchmaker.
The fact is, if you are a woman and you want to get married, you need to be smart about your dating. This means avoiding certain male types, but it also means recognizing what you are doing wrong in your dating and whether the type of woman you are putting out there to the male population attracts or repels them.
To figure this out, you can start by considering the list below and whether you, at times, are any of these quite unattractive female types:. This woman usually can't help herself; she has bossy in her DNA.
When a man first meets her, he might think this character trait is cute, for awhile. However, once he starts to feel like he is in grammar school being told what to do by his second grade teacher , he will give this woman her walking papers. This woman thinks that being a game player will help her land a man. However, even though a man might be intrigued by a hard to get lady in the beginning, as soon as he decides that he is interested in her, all he wants is an honest straightshooter.
If this woman doesn't remove Battleship from her repertoire quite quickly, she will be shown the door before she can even sink his vessel. This woman is lurking everywhere. She is the type of woman many men are the most leery of. Of course, there are some men who love this woman because of their own insecurities.
She claims that she loves her guy just the way he is , but little by little, she chips away at just about everything about him. First, it's his wardrobe, then it's his taste in music. However, when she gets to his friends and his hobbies, she is usually kicked to the curb. This woman is on edge all the time because she is very distrusting. Many times, she has been burnt in the past, so she is on guard for anything that looks or feels wrong.
When a man first meets this woman, he sees her as a damsel in distress and wants to reassure her that he is nothing like that guy in her past. However, once she accuses him one too many times, he will have no choice to leave her because he can't go through his life being prosecuted for somebody else's crimes.
This woman is very difficult for a man to date, let alone marry. At first, he is flattered that she is so into him, but very quickly, he feels overwhelmed and suffocated by her. As a woman, you must have something going on in your own life so that you are not just waiting by the door for him to come home. Miss "I Have Daddy Issues": This woman usually dates older men and deep down is looking for a father figure, not a boyfriend or husband.
Initially, her guy might like how she looks to him for approval and the answer to all of her questions, but soon, he realizes that he wants to have sex with a real woman, not someone who is stuck in her teen years trying to get Daddy to notice her. This woman has her mother on speed dial and can't seem to make a decision or do anything without getting her opinion.
When a guy first meets her, he thinks it's nice that she is so close to her family, but soon, he finds it to be way too much. A man just doesn't want to have to ask her mother's permission about things in his life. This woman is like a human Page Six. She loves to gossip and talk about other people and she loves to hear things about other people as well. Initially when a guy meets her, he might be entertained by her anecdotes but eventually, he begins to wonder what she is saying behind his back.
This woman needs to be at least as good as everyone else she knows. She is constantly talking about what the other people do and what the other people have. This places a lot of undue pressure on her guy and eventually, he justs gets fed up that she can't appreciate what they have instead of wishing she was someone else. Miss "I Don't Eat": This woman picks at her food, is on a never-ending diet or doesn't eat pretty much everything that most people eat.
When a man first meets her, he thinks to himself, at least she will never become overweight , but eventually he realizes that it's no fun to eat alone. The fact is men like to eat; they like steak, they like trying different foods, they like dessert and women should be eating too, at least sometimes.
Keep in mind that most men just want a happy and easy going woman who has good values, so just focus on putting the best YOU out there. Can you think of any other types of women that are unattractive to men? Samantha Daniels is a well-known professional matchmaker and relationship expert. She is the President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking, a bicoastal matchmaking service which caters exclusively to busy, successful professionals who have no trouble getting dates, but who have yet to find that one person with whom to spend the rest of their lives.
She is also the author of "Matchbook: You can follow her on Twitter Matchmakersd. You can also follow her on her Curator page on OpenSky, where you can get advice and picks for shopping from Celebrities.
For more information, you can go to www. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. To figure this out, you can start by considering the list below and whether you, at times, are any of these quite unattractive female types: Follow Samantha Daniels on Twitter: Professional Matchmaker; President of SamanthasTable.
The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker'. Go to mobile site.
As I look back on it, I can say that they happened literally every time, although I was unaware of these dynamics at the time. The two things were this: I don't know why this happened, I just know that it did.
Maybe it's just built into "the system. I've seen it happen over and over again. I know many people having marital problems because they engaged in premarital sex. They go into the marriage with lack of respect and lack of trust, two absolute necessities for the health of any marriage. I know a newlywed couple who have sex less than once a month because of this -- he doesn't respect her, she knows it, and she doesn't trust him, so she doesn't want to give herself to him.
It's very sad, and more common than you might think. But nobody talks about this kind of thing in public. And the movie and TV portrayals of couples having sex before marriage never present it either.
It's like no one wants to acknowledge that it's happening, even though it is. Because we'll go into the marriage with me having more respect for her and her having more trust in me. One thing I've learned: Deep down, she doesn't really enjoy being with him. This is how it works. Since "girls use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex," a couple will have sex before marriage.
The girl does this to hold on to the relationship. The guy does it because he wants it even more than the relationship itself. Then, after the marriage, the woman has what she wants: So she doesn't need to use sex to get him anymore. And, because she may be harboring resentment because he had sex with her before they were married, she is now not interested in sex.
And the guy -- who doesn't treasure his wife because of the sex before marriage -- still wants sex but not as a total bonding experience with his wife. It's just sex, which she figures out. So, there is a lousy sex life in the marriage.
I'm not making this stuff up. Now that I'm out of college and many people around me are getting married, I'm seeing it happen all the time.
And consequently they'll have better and more frequent sex because they respect each other more and love each other more deeply. Sex is a mysterious thing that causes a deep bond between people, even if we call it "casual. It's like a piece of scotch tape -- the more you use it on different surfaces, the less it sticks to things. After awhile, it won't stick to anything. If I bond with other girls before I get married, I won't be able to bond as well with my wife someday.
I won't cherish her as much as I could have, and consequently I won't love her as much as I could have. Each day that passes that I've remained faithful to my future wife means that my relationship with her will be better. It's a funny thing: Because, if you take the element of time out of the equation, premarital sex is adultery.
We can imagine how adultery would greatly injure a marriage relationship, maybe premarital sex actually has nearly the same result. It injures the potential bond between a man and a woman. Sex is meant to complement a relationship, not be the most important aspect of it.
That's what I've found out. It's supposed to be the icing on the cake when all the other aspects of your relationship are working well. I've come to understand that the sex will be good if the rest of the relationship is good.
That's why I know I don't have to sleep with my wife to find out if we're sexually compatible. If we get along in every other area, the sex will be fine. Something else needs to be said here. Another thing I think I've "discovered" is this: If you put your sexual relationship under a microscope, always judging it and judging the relationship by it, it's doomed to fail.
It's like being in prison. You're locked in to something that is supposed to be freeing, not incapacitating. But, when you focus on the other parts of the relationship, and the sex isn't the focus, then you're freed up to have a more enjoyable sex life, with no pressure of having to make it always spectacular. Because it won't be.
And yet, I don't think that as a college-age adult I was capable of not focusing on sex, that is, unless it wasn't present at all. That's why I think it's best to wait altogether. I know what you're thinking: And in fact, in a way sex helped me to discover the something that outdoes it. And that something is not really a something, it's a someone. Just hear me out on this one, I know it sounds far-fetched, but the whole thing makes sense.
God has created us in such a way that we can't be ultimately satisfied by anything except Him. He built that into the human system, and into each one of our individual systems. As one man put it, "Inside every person is a God-shaped vacuum that only God can fill. That's why we see people change careers, mates, fashions, and more -- because in our search for ultimate fulfillment , we get frustrated with the things and people that have not achieved it for us.
So we discard them and move on to something or someone else, hoping that in them we will find the kind of fulfillment we are all really looking for. But the problem is, we never find it unless we come to God for it, because only He can provide it. God loves us too much to see us truly satisfied by anything other than Himself. He wants the best for us, and that means Himself.
Nothing or no one is more important than God. I know that's true because I found it out for myself. The emptiness I had -- after buying this and buying that, after sexual escapades, after all my efforts to be fulfilled in life -- the emptiness came to an end when I asked God into my life. More specifically, when I asked Jesus Christ into my life. Jesus Christ said, "He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty" John 6: Those words came true in my life.
When I entered into a relationship with God, the God-shaped vacuum inside me was finally filled. I didn't feel empty anymore. Consequently, knowing God has given me a deeper satisfaction than sex ever did. It's been years since I've had sex. I wish I could say that I totally waited for marriage, but I can't.
I do have regrets and, as I said before, they have lasted much longer than any momentary pleasures. I have regrets about the way I've treated girls. I have concerns about the stability of my future marriage if and when I get married.
But God has helped me to deal with my past acts and with my concerns for the future. He is in the process of changing me, and has changed me a lot already. Also, God has given me the ability to wait for marriage to have sex again. Sure, it's been a struggle at times, but God has been big enough to get me through it. All things are possible with Him. And each day, week, year that goes by, I know I'll have a better and stronger marriage someday because I've waited. Too, I have a stronger relationship with God, today, as a result of depending on Him in this vital area of my life as a man.
If you want to be successful in relationships someday -- as a husband and a father -- the best place to start is with yourself. The trick is not in finding the right wife, or having the right children. The key is to start with you. And the most important relationship you can have -- one that will make you a better husband and father -- is a relationship with God.
God is the author of sex, love and relationships in general. He created these things for us to enjoy. And we can enjoy them fully if we follow His design for them. I've come to discover that God is not a "moralizer. When He says, "Don't do this" for example, wait for marriage to have sex , He's not saying that to show me who's boss, He's saying it because it's in my best interest.
He's saying it because He knows how He's built me as a man, what is best for me, and what will bring me the most fulfillment. So how do we begin a relationship with Him?
God has a genuine love for us and wants us to know Him Currently, what stands in the way of us connecting with God is our sin our failure to love God and others perfectly. So Jesus Christ "God in the flesh" took all of our sin on His shoulders while He willingly died on a cross. He did this so we could be completely forgiven, completely acceptable to Him. My personal belief is the latter. And not only is there some research supporting that women are attracted to potential status as much as they are attracted to status itself, but I feel like I have a fair amount of experience in this area.
In fact, I attracted a significant number of older women who took me under their wing and wanted to support me during this period until I got on my feet. I believe that status in a male is determined by his behavior. They are the effects of high status behavior, not the causes. Sexual attraction from women is determined by status, status is determined by behavior, and what determines whether a man has attractive behavior or not is his perception of himself relative to those around him, particularly women.
For instance, a needy man may come up with really clever jokes and have a great job, but he will use them to impress her and get validation from her — needy behaviors — and will therefore be perceived to be unattractive. Believe it or not, this man will be seen as attractive because his behaviors will be genuine, authentic, and non-needy.
The needy man, despite having a nice job and clever things to say, is a follower. He will only go so far. The non-needy man, even though he may be a bit aimless and in a downturn in his life, he will end up living an enriching and unique life that suits him and makes him happier.
If a man values the perceptions of others more than his perception of himself, then he will naturally behave in an unattractive way around them. If he trusts his perception of himself more than the perceptions of those around him, then he will be perceived as a non-needy man, and therefore behave attractively. All of the outward appearances of status and resources — the fitness, the nice clothes, the cool lifestyle — these things are a result of a man who is inwardly driven, a man who invests in himself and takes care of himself.
When all is said and done, all attractive traits in a man can be traced back to his lack of neediness. Please note, I am NOT saying that a man should disregard the perceptions of others, or that he should trash or disrespect the perceptions of others — only that he should believe in his perception of himself more than the perceptions of those around him.
Neediness plays itself out in many forms. Needy behavior will only attract other needy women. Neediness finds its own level. If you are open and honest about your intentions and genuinely care about the women you meet and interact with, then you will attract genuine and caring women who will be honest with you. This is referred to as the assortment effect in psychology and it has been demonstrated in numerous studies.
If you want to be with amazing women who are open, loving, independent, supportive and nurturing, then you need to become the male equivalent.
Yes, I just quoted myself in my own article. I mean I did write a whole page book on this stuff , so cut me some slack. If status creates sexual attraction in women, then demonstration of desire creates sexual arousal in women.
It means being nervous around her is going to be a pretty big turn off. Men typically underestimate how forward they can be with women. And they vastly underestimate how effective being forward and open about their sexual desires is with women who are attracted to them.
But then as I saw the positive reaction from her and the other girls I said this to, I started feeling empowered. A proper and honest sexual expression is powerful, and in our society, rare. Many of us grow up with a great deal of sexual shame. And not only does this keep us afraid of expressing our sexual desires openly, but it creates an unhealthy neediness and worship of sex.
Because honest and respectful demonstrations of sexuality are so rare, not only are women aroused by it, but it often hits them like a breath of fresh air. What gets lost in most of the dating advice out there, and what is so fundamentally important to your happiness and success with the women you meet, is why you behave in certain ways rather than others.
In communication, what motivates your behavior is just as important as the behavior itself. Maybe it was a guy at work who needed to always be right, or a girl who complained about everything so people would feel sorry for her, or the friend who did crazy things to impress his friends and be cool.
You should adopt non-needy behaviors because you care about yourself and want to improve yourself. Attracting women should be a side-effect of that desire. If you attempt to adopt non-needy behaviors in an attempt to impress others, you are still being needy. You are faking it, and you will eventually be exposed. The only way to develop a genuine attraction through women is by genuinely investing in yourself. Expressing sexual desire is an internal process. Recognize that you will be rejected and turned down by a lot of women regardless of whatever you do.
Accept this and appreciate it. But if you measure success with women by lack of rejection, then you will always be disappointed. This is an internal and emotional process, not an external behavioral one. The external behaviors are an internal side effect, not the cause of the attraction. And becoming an attractive man of status is a process of investing in yourself and caring about yourself. Again, this is an internal and emotional process — how you feel about yourself, how you perceive yourself, how much you care about yourself — and bringing beautiful women into your life is a side-effect of that internal investment.
External investment will lead you nowhere. At best, it will bring superficial or dysfunctional relationships, and at worst it will bring you absolutely nothing.
Hopefully this guide has given you a solid foundation of understanding the basic principles of attraction and how they work.
A woman really doesn’t want much from a man. There are really only seven things – seven qualities that she’s looking for in a life partner. Men want the exact same things out of a relationship that women want. that women have heard the narrative that men don’t care about emotions, they forget to pay attention when their guy really wants to be open, honest, and real. Maybe the lesson here for us is to leave judgement-free space for when our guys really want to be open and. The same thing has happened to me in dating sites it kind of ***** you talk to a guy and they seem okay but it turns out later that they are married and just looking for casual sex.